How do I live without you?
by Cutenatsumexmikan
Summary: "Eh? No one said that to me. It's what I think about myself," Mikan said. "Stop thinking like that," Natsume said seriously. "If to others you are nobody, for me you are everything. Without you, I'll be nothing." NxM.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or the song "How do I live without you" by LeAnn Rimes.**

**Summary:** "Eh? No one said that to me. It's what I think about myself," Mikan said. "Stop thinking like that," Natsume said seriously. "If to others you are nobody, for me you are everything. Without you, I'll be nothing." NxM.

**Author's note: **Just a random oneshot that I wrote out of boredom. Hope you like it :) This is inspired by the song 'How do I live without you?' by LeAnn Rimes. Please enjoy and leave a review afterward. You will appreciate the story if you'll listen to the song while reading it. Well, it's only an advice :)

And tell me now  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

- How do I live without you, LeAnn Rimes.

* * *

"Please wake up. Don't go dieing on me," Natsume Hyuuga said, looking through the operating door, clothes soaked in blood. "Please, I need you. Fight Mikan, fight."

"Natsume, calm down," Ruka Nogi said, patting his bestfriend's back, while tears are forming on his blue eyes. "She'll survive."

"What if she don't? I don't know what I'm going to do without her!" Natsume shrieked, punching the wall. "How can I possibly live without her?"

"Stop it, Hyuuga. Mikan is strong. She'll survive," Hotaru said, her eyes puffy. "Mikan...wouldn't like it if she see you like that when she wakes up right?"

Natsume clenched his fist. "I'm going to take a walk." and he walked away with Ruka and Hotaru looking at him worriedly.

He reached his room and opened his drawer. He got something inside it and put it safely on his pocket.

He went back to the hospital, waiting for the doctor to come out of the operating room. He sat on one of the hospital benches, making sure that the things in his pocket won't fall. He buried his face on both hands. "Mikan, please survive. I love you."

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How do I,  
Get through the night without you?  
If I had to live without you,  
What kind of life would that be?  
Oh, I  
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,  
You're my world, my heart, my soul,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,

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_"Natsume, you wouldn't leave me right?" Mikan Sakura asked her raven-haired boy while cuddling inside his special star bedroom. She looked at him with those innocent chocolate-orbs that Natsume loved so much._

_"I won't," Natsume said, titling her head up so that he can placed a small lingering kiss on her full lips. "and that's a promise."_

_Mikan happily smiled, hugging his waist in the process and leaning her head on his broad chest. "I love you, Natsume."_

_"I love you too, Polkadots," Mikan playfully punched his chest. He chuckled with her childishness._

_"Stop calling me, Polkadots! I'm not wearing it anymore," Mikan said pouting which Natsume couldn't help but think as cute._

_"Alright, I love you too Mikan," Natsume said, giving her a small smile. Mikan giggled._

_"You smiled!" Mikan shrieked. "I definitely love your smile, Natsume."_

_Natsume smirked. "Falling for my charms, Polka?"_

_"Shut up! You're so full of yourself!" Mikan shouted. But soon found her lips captured by Natsume._

.

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_"Natsume, I love you. Please be my boyfriend!" _

_"Back off, I already have a girlfriend," Natsume said, turning his back. He was about to walked away when he heard the girl spoke._

_"That Sakura girl again?" Luna said, stomping her foot indicating that she's insulted and angry. "She's not suitable for you! She's plain, ugly and an idiot! How could you possibly fall in love with such girl? I'm sure she did something to make you fall for her!"_

_He turned around, gently slapping Luna in cheeks. "She may not be the perfect girl, an idiot, but she has the biggest heart that any girl doesn't have. She made me feel that I belong in this damnable world."_

_"But-!" but Natsume cut her off. _

_"She's the one for me, and more importantly, she's the I love. Live with it."_

_And he walked away._

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_"Don't you think you're a bit too harsh to Luna-chan?" Mikan asked sadly. _

_"She deserves it. After she insulted you and all, actually, that wasn't enough," Natsume said, reading his manga book._

_"But," Mikan looked down. "I think she has a point. I mean, I am a nobody. While you are a somebody. Everyone praised you, everyone looks upon you, I'm just a plain g-"_

_"Stop right there, woman," Natsume said, putting down his manga before looking at Mikan. "Who told you that you are a nobody? I would definitely burn that person."_

_"Eh? No one said that to me. It's what I think about myself," Mikan said. Natsume clicked his tongue and he holds Mikan's shoulder, looking at her straight into her chocolate eyes._

_"Stop thinking like that," Natsume said seriously. "If to others you are nobody, for me you are everything. Without you, I'll be nothing."_

_"Natsume..." Mikan smiled cheerfully, her eyes getting watery. "Thank you."_

_She hugged him.  
_

_Natsume hugged back._

_They stayed in that position for a while._

_ "This cheesiness is making me itchy, Polka. Just kiss me if you are that grateful."_

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_"Ne Natsume, how many children do you want?" The brunette asked innocently the raven-haired guy beside her. _

_Natsume lowered the manga covering his face and raised his brow. "And you call me a pervert while you're the one who is thinking about making babies already."_

_Mikan turned crimson, "Eh? I'm just asking! I didn't say that we'll have to make them now! I only want to have an idea on how many babies do you want! Baka Natsume."_

_Natsume looked at Mikan with the oh-really-look. "Yeah right Polka, as if I believe you."_

_"Then don't believe me!" Mikan said pouting. She turned her back towards Natsume, fully embarrassed of herself for opening such topic._

_Natsume, on the other hand, doesn't like the idea of his girlfriend getting angry of him, so he thought of the most 'romantic' way that he can think to make Mikan calm down. He hugged her from behind and whispered, "How does a basketball team sounds? I'm the coach and your the cheer-leading captain."_

_Mikan grinned and turned around, "Gladly."_

_And he kissed her.  
_

_"Then how about we start making them now?" Natsume said perversely. "You know, it would take quite some time before we can actually form a basketball team. The sooner we start, the sooner we can complete our own 'basketball team'."  
_

_"Shut up!" Mikan shouted._

_She smacked his head for being a pervert._

_And oh, don't forget a kick on the shin.  
_

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_"Polka, do you love me?" Natsume asked his childish girlfriend while they lay comfortably on Natsume's king-sized bed. Mikan lifted herself up, looking at Natsume straight into her eyes.  
_

_"What kind of question is that? Of course the answer is yes," Mikan answered smiling._

_"Then mar-," he wasn't able to finished his sentence when they heard a knock.  
_

_"Natsume! Someone's knocking on the door! Let me get it!" Mikan said, freeing herself in Natsume's arms, much to the flame caster's annoyance. Natsume grunted but nevertheless, he followed his cheerful girlfriend. _

_"Coming!" Mikan shouted cheerfully, and when she opened the door, she backed out away. "Eh who are you?"_

_A guy with auburn hair is standing in front of Natsume's room, a pistol in his hand and a murderous aura emitting from his body.  
_

_Acting on instant, Natsume stood in front of Mikan, protecting her from any harm. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Hyuuga..." Reo pointed the gun at Natsume, "Hyuuga, you will pay for hurting my sister. She went miserable because of you! You hurt her and I'm going to avenge her, Natsume Hyuuga."_

_Natsume glared at Reo but that action didn't made him backed away. "You're sister is so persistent. I've told her many times that I can't return her love. It's her fault for suffering like that!"_

_"Shut up! I don't need your explanations," He pulled the pistol's hammer. "You're going to pay for hurting my sister!"_

_When he was about to shot Natsume, Natsume hold his wrist so that he can removed it out from his grip. Natsume tried to take the pistol away from Reo's grip but Reo is holding it tight. Accidentally, Reo pulled the trigger twice.  
_

_2 SHOTS..._

_Luckily, either of them didn't shot by it but..._

_A SHOUT..._

_A VERY PAINFUL ONE...  
_

_They both looked at the direction of the shot and found Mikan Sakura, laying on the floor, clutching her stomach, a pool of blood surrounding her. "Nat..su..me.."_

_Natsume eyes widened and he let go of Reo and quickly ran towards Mikan's side. Reo stepped back, fear enveloping his whole body as he stared at the weak body in Natsume's arms. He was about to run but Ruka and Hotaru came running towards them._

_"Natsume! We heard gunshots. What happe-" but Ruka wasn't able to finished what he was supposed to say when he saw the scene. He quickly run towards the two while Hotaru called for the ambulance and the higher ups for Reo to be picked up.  
_

_"Mikan, open your eyes. Please," Natsume muttered, his voice shaking. "Don't leave me."_

_Mikan slowly opened her chocolate orbs, tears falling on her eyes. "Natsume..."_

_"Mikan, I'm glad. Please hold on, we're going to bring you to the hospital. Please hang on there," Natsume said, hugging Mikan's fragile body. Mikan weakly smiled and nodded her head. _

_"Natsume..." She caressed Natsume's face. Natsume hold the hand that is caressing his face, holding it tighter telling her that he won't let of of her. "I love you."_

_"I love you too. Please don't leave me," Natsume said, his tears flowing on his crimson eyes continuously. Mikan closed her eyes slowly, her hand which is holding Natsume's slowly slipping away from his grip._

_"See you soon," She whispered before completely closing her eyes._

_"Mikan!" Natsume shook her hand. "Damn it, wake up!"_

_She wouldn't budge._

_He wasn't able to propose to the girl he loved the most.  
_

_He hugged her body, tightly against his own._

_An agonizing scream along with the sound of ambulance was heard..._

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Without you,  
There'd be no sun in my sky,  
There would be no love in my life,  
There'd be no world left for me.  
And I,  
Baby I don't know what I would do,  
I'd be lost if I lost you,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

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The operating room burst open and a man with a white coat came out with a stethoscope on his neck. He looked at them sadly and slowly, he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Hotaru turned her back, her tears flowing on her eyes while Ruka clenched his fist. Natsume on the other hand, is gritting his teeth and due to anger, he grabbed the collar of the doctor, his crimson eyes watery because of tears. "You, you're lying! She won't die! She's strong!"

"I'm really sorry," The doctor said, looking down. "I know this is hard to accept, but I did everything in my willpower. But, I couldn't make her survive."

Natsume threw the doctor in the floor, punching the wall consecutively while letting out agonizing shouts. Blood started to flow down on his fist. Ruka hold his shoulder to make him stop but he struggles from his grip.

SLAP...

The great Hotaru Imai slapped Natsume Hyuuga hard on the cheek, his face turned on the side, a red mark on his face.

"Hyuuga," Hotaru said, her eyes puffy because of too much crying. "Do you think Mikan will like to see you like that? Do you think she will be in peace seeing you suffering like that? We didn't want this to happen, but it did. We don't have control with our life and the best we can do is to accept the damn truth that someone needs to go. It just happened that Mikan is the first one to go."

Natsume pushed Ruka away, his hands clenched. He kicked the chair before he walked inside the operating room, slamming the door hard.

The room is dim but still, Natsume could still see the beautiful brunette in the center of the room. He walked towards her, sat on the bed and caressed her cheeks. She looks like she's only sleeping but Natsume knows that she wouldn't be opening those chocolate-orbs anymore.

Slowly, he took a box inside his pocket. He carefully slipped the ring in her ring finger before leaning towards her and kissing her forehead. "I love you."

His tears flowing on his eyes.

"Wait for me. We'll see each other soon," he said, gripping her small hand.

And lastly, he took something on his back pocket, pointing it on his temple. He pulled the trigger.

SHOT...

And the next thing he knew, his head is already laying beside the head of his beloved, blood dripping from his mouth while his lips forming into a small smile. "I couldn't possibly live without you...See you later," he whispered while holding her hand.

He heard people calling his name before he completely closed his eyes, excited to see his beloved again.

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If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything,  
I need you with me,  
Baby don't you know that you're everything,  
Real in my life?

* * *

**Author's note: **First attempt for a tragedy, God, I think I failed. And yeah, I ate my words. I did say that I'm not going to write a tragic story. I don't really like it when a character dies most especially if it's Mikan and Natsume but I can't help but to write this. I hope you like it though. Tragedy is never been my piece, so I doubt if this is good. How about giving me a review? Hehe. Thanks for reading!

**` Cute-chan :)**


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